July 29, 2007

I haven't even begun to start trying. :(
I am NOT satisfied with my weight and I have no desire to stay 230lbs the rest of my life... but I don't do anything about it.
Well, perhaps that's not true. I do make steps towards being healthier but not enough. Not yet.
Today is a new day, right?
Ugh.

Day 2 - Meal Counts

Yesterday - 23 points

Breakfast on the go: McDonald's yogurt parfait (1/2 of the snack size, shared with Joshua!), large iced tea with lemon/s&l (1.5)

Snack at playgroup: 1oz cheddar cheese, a small handful of wheat thins, 4 blackberries, 1 fig newton (5)

Lunch - amazing lunch for the WW point count! 1 head romaine (yes, the whole thing!), 2T Trader Joe's Caesar dressing (50cal,4g fat,0g fiber), 10 croutons, 1T parmesean cheese. Dressing was a bit lighter than I'm used to but it was so tasty and really, I will get used to it! I could use less lettuce as well, but I was very hungry. I'll add 2-3oz chicken next time. (3.5)

Snack with my kids later: 3 bagel bites (3)

Dinner: tuna with just a smidge of mayo, ritz crackers, baby fuji apple (6)

Dessert: Special K with strawberries, 1 cup skim milk (4)

Day 1, again..... 226.5

Go to the bathroom. Remove my clothes. Zero out the scale. Step on it and pray for a miracle.

That's how I start out my morning pretty much every day and at 37 years old, I'm finding it a tiring and frustrating reality. I lead an active life, having 2 teenagers and a toddler at home, but get in no exercise. My pantry and fridge are filled with healthy foods but I choose to forgo them and make a quick trip to the fast food chain down the street. For heaven's sake, I even am part of a weight loss study drug program (I have the placebo, I'm sure!!!) and have a diet and exercise counselor!

I seem to live my life under the misguided conception that there's something magical out there that I just haven't figured out - something that'll make this weight loss journey easier.

Thing is, I know better. I don't even try the fads and am a faithful *mental* follower of the basic rule that to lose weight and get healthy, it's about the foods I eat and the exercise I accomplish. I know what to do.

But here I am: 226.5

The biggest positive I can offer myself right now is at least I am not ready to give up.

Here are a few "before" pictures from 2006 but since time is of essence this morning, I'll update more later.

So, here we go. Day 1 again..................

2006