In the "contact us" section at www.lapsf.com Iwrote "After much research, I'm ready to move forward with the VSG surgery." ..... then I actually clicked SEND! It sounds silly but I think my body knows what I need to do, it's just my mind that gets in the way. Am I really ready to move forward?
What do I have to lose?
(100lbs!)
I am getting more involved at www.obesityhelp.com and found out about a local support group.
Let it begin!
Wow.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Sunday, September 16, 2007
September 16, 2007 ... Part Two
Editing 1/16/2008: Because of my (ahem!) insurance, my portion for lapband would be around $11k, so not quite the difference I first thought!
Irregardless, VSG is the appropriate surgery for me.
VSG - $16,400 (not covered by my insurance)
Lapband - $5,500 (my cost after insurance portion)
That is a gigantic financial difference and I'm still researching what to do next. I don't want to put this off forever but it's not an easy decision.
I feel like VSG is the better option for long-term success.
But I think Lapband could be successful as well.
What do you think?
Irregardless, VSG is the appropriate surgery for me.
VSG - $16,400 (not covered by my insurance)
Lapband - $5,500 (my cost after insurance portion)
That is a gigantic financial difference and I'm still researching what to do next. I don't want to put this off forever but it's not an easy decision.
I feel like VSG is the better option for long-term success.
But I think Lapband could be successful as well.
What do you think?
September 16, 2007
Weight Loss Surgery
Seminar with Dr. Jossart
August 15th
I was really thrown for an emotional loop after the presentation and have been working through my feelings about it. This process is sorta making me feel worse about my body image. *shrug*
DH is completely supportive but to an almost annoying level because I get the sense he realllllllllllllllllllly wants me to have WLS (weight loss surgery). He says that’s not the case. He says “I’ve listened to you for our whole marriage, watched you try so hard to lose weight, seen you in tears throughout the years… I just saw this as something that could maybe really make the difference for the last time. I want you to achieve all you’ve dreamed about. (Including shopping in the ‘regular’ section of a store!)”
Back to the consult.
I was definitely the smallest in the room which of course, never happens. I wondered if they looked at me as I might look at someone weighing 180lbs, complaining about being fat. You know?
It was verrrrrrry informative and during the presentation, I started to lean more towards another possibility.
I walked in feeling Lapband was my only personal option, walked out ready to explore Vertical Gastrectomy (VG). Tim is nervous about VG and I’m completely afraid of Lapband not being “enough” for me, you know?
I alluded to an “emotional loop” afterwards – what I mean is, I feel like EVERYTHING in my life has to change in order for this to be successful. I’m wrestling with how much I have to change who I’ve become in order to achieve being thin.
I am such a social eater… I try to imagine saying to my lunch-every-Thursday-friend that I’d rather go for a hike instead of trying a new restaurant?? Or how often we eat out for social events. The day of the seminar, I had 2 BBQs to attend!
Additionally, I struggle with the question of “if I already know what to do now but am not doing it, how do I know I’ll start after surgery?” I realize WLS is a tool ONLY but I guess I am hoping it’s a verrrrrrrry powerful one.
Anyhow, that’s where I stand now.
.
Seminar with Dr. Jossart
August 15th
I was really thrown for an emotional loop after the presentation and have been working through my feelings about it. This process is sorta making me feel worse about my body image. *shrug*
DH is completely supportive but to an almost annoying level because I get the sense he realllllllllllllllllllly wants me to have WLS (weight loss surgery). He says that’s not the case. He says “I’ve listened to you for our whole marriage, watched you try so hard to lose weight, seen you in tears throughout the years… I just saw this as something that could maybe really make the difference for the last time. I want you to achieve all you’ve dreamed about. (Including shopping in the ‘regular’ section of a store!)”
Back to the consult.
I was definitely the smallest in the room which of course, never happens. I wondered if they looked at me as I might look at someone weighing 180lbs, complaining about being fat. You know?
It was verrrrrrry informative and during the presentation, I started to lean more towards another possibility.
I walked in feeling Lapband was my only personal option, walked out ready to explore Vertical Gastrectomy (VG). Tim is nervous about VG and I’m completely afraid of Lapband not being “enough” for me, you know?
I alluded to an “emotional loop” afterwards – what I mean is, I feel like EVERYTHING in my life has to change in order for this to be successful. I’m wrestling with how much I have to change who I’ve become in order to achieve being thin.
I am such a social eater… I try to imagine saying to my lunch-every-Thursday-friend that I’d rather go for a hike instead of trying a new restaurant?? Or how often we eat out for social events. The day of the seminar, I had 2 BBQs to attend!
Additionally, I struggle with the question of “if I already know what to do now but am not doing it, how do I know I’ll start after surgery?” I realize WLS is a tool ONLY but I guess I am hoping it’s a verrrrrrrry powerful one.
Anyhow, that’s where I stand now.
.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
July 29, 2007
I haven't even begun to start trying. :(
I am NOT satisfied with my weight and I have no desire to stay 230lbs the rest of my life... but I don't do anything about it.
Well, perhaps that's not true. I do make steps towards being healthier but not enough. Not yet.
Today is a new day, right?
Ugh.
I am NOT satisfied with my weight and I have no desire to stay 230lbs the rest of my life... but I don't do anything about it.
Well, perhaps that's not true. I do make steps towards being healthier but not enough. Not yet.
Today is a new day, right?
Ugh.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Day 2 - Meal Counts
Yesterday - 23 points
Breakfast on the go: McDonald's yogurt parfait (1/2 of the snack size, shared with Joshua!), large iced tea with lemon/s&l (1.5)
Snack at playgroup: 1oz cheddar cheese, a small handful of wheat thins, 4 blackberries, 1 fig newton (5)
Lunch - amazing lunch for the WW point count! 1 head romaine (yes, the whole thing!), 2T Trader Joe's Caesar dressing (50cal,4g fat,0g fiber), 10 croutons, 1T parmesean cheese. Dressing was a bit lighter than I'm used to but it was so tasty and really, I will get used to it! I could use less lettuce as well, but I was very hungry. I'll add 2-3oz chicken next time. (3.5)
Snack with my kids later: 3 bagel bites (3)
Dinner: tuna with just a smidge of mayo, ritz crackers, baby fuji apple (6)
Dessert: Special K with strawberries, 1 cup skim milk (4)
Breakfast on the go: McDonald's yogurt parfait (1/2 of the snack size, shared with Joshua!), large iced tea with lemon/s&l (1.5)
Snack at playgroup: 1oz cheddar cheese, a small handful of wheat thins, 4 blackberries, 1 fig newton (5)
Lunch - amazing lunch for the WW point count! 1 head romaine (yes, the whole thing!), 2T Trader Joe's Caesar dressing (50cal,4g fat,0g fiber), 10 croutons, 1T parmesean cheese. Dressing was a bit lighter than I'm used to but it was so tasty and really, I will get used to it! I could use less lettuce as well, but I was very hungry. I'll add 2-3oz chicken next time. (3.5)
Snack with my kids later: 3 bagel bites (3)
Dinner: tuna with just a smidge of mayo, ritz crackers, baby fuji apple (6)
Dessert: Special K with strawberries, 1 cup skim milk (4)
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Day 1, again..... 226.5
Go to the bathroom. Remove my clothes. Zero out the scale. Step on it and pray for a miracle.
That's how I start out my morning pretty much every day and at 37 years old, I'm finding it a tiring and frustrating reality. I lead an active life, having 2 teenagers and a toddler at home, but get in no exercise. My pantry and fridge are filled with healthy foods but I choose to forgo them and make a quick trip to the fast food chain down the street. For heaven's sake, I even am part of a weight loss study drug program (I have the placebo, I'm sure!!!) and have a diet and exercise counselor!
I seem to live my life under the misguided conception that there's something magical out there that I just haven't figured out - something that'll make this weight loss journey easier.
Thing is, I know better. I don't even try the fads and am a faithful *mental* follower of the basic rule that to lose weight and get healthy, it's about the foods I eat and the exercise I accomplish. I know what to do.
But here I am: 226.5
The biggest positive I can offer myself right now is at least I am not ready to give up.
Here are a few "before" pictures from 2006 but since time is of essence this morning, I'll update more later.
So, here we go. Day 1 again..................
2006
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